I remember going to the AAA with my grandparents when I was a little girl to pick up their triptik for a trip back East. Along with a map, rest stops, hotels and places to stop were marked for convenience.
Hell, I don't remember for sure, but I think even the Stuckey's were all marked so you could be sure to pick up your pecan log roll along the way.
Granny and PopPop never traveled without their Triptik.
I love the idea of a Triptik for life's journeys. Know where you're going, figure out how to get there and work the plan.
Problem is, life doesn't work that way no matter how much you'd like it to. The do-do bird of mayhem often splats milky-white poo bombs upon your plans, requiring a detour or two.
But there's a bigger problem than a detour in your plans. Way bigger.
With big dreams and journeys, seeing all the steps between Here and There can be overwhelming. If you're a seasoned catastrophizer like I am, the overwhelm of the steps plus the myriad tentacles of All That Could Go Wrong combine to squeeze the breath out of you and stop you in your tracks like flies on flypaper.
Maybe that's just me, but I suspect not.
A friend of mine once worked with a shaman who used the analogy of driving in the desert at night to describe what's necessary to travel the road to your destination. As you drive, your headlights illuminate the road in front of you just enough to inform you of turns or suicidal armadillos in the road.
All you really need to navigate well is the next 100-feet in front of you.
Knowing too much about the journey can paralyze you, keeping you safely ensconced where you are instead of traveling to someplace you'd really like go. You play it safe or don't even start.
When we plan too much, the challenges become Herculean to our brains when, in reality, we're quite adept at vanquishing them on the fly.
I'm staring down the barrel of an idea that's excitingscaryfreakingmeout. My lizard brain is acting like Large Marge in Charge, offering up all the reasons why I'm crazy or it's too risky, and along with the excitement, ol' Lizard Brain's given me a raging dose of the urge to blow chunks.
I've hit this wall before, and far too often, I've succumbed to Lizzie's voice of reason and all the disasters she's predicted instead of focusing on the first five steps forward.
To be honest, I don't know how I'm going to transcend this fear to do something bigger than I currently believe I am capable of. But I want it…desperately…and if it means I'm wiping puke from the corners of my mouth as I move forward, so be it.
So far, all I have is a URL and an overarching idea. A few notes. The plan to join Sandi Amorim and Jenny Bones S'more Summer Camp for Solopreneurs for some education, structure, and a sure kick in the squishy part I sit on.
I can't think about the what ifs right now because if I do, I will never move forward.
And mostly what I want to say to you is that whatever it is you're not starting because the long view freaks you the hell out, scale back.
Think next month, next week, next day, whatever it is that doesn't make you want to reenact the vomit scene in The Exorcist.
But: Whatever you do, do not walk away from your dreams, the ideas that make you shake with passion alongside the nervous-making, that make you sweat and hope and light up like a sparkler.
Because walking away without even trying is worse than any of the possible roadblocks or pitfalls your lizard brain so thoughtfully marks out on your triptik because none of those worries or concerns may even happen. It is certain there will be challenges, but then again, there are still challenges when we play it safe and small.
Nothing is certain in life. We may as well go balls to the wall after something that makes us feel alive.
Join Us!
I'd love to hear more from you, my rock star readers.
Maybe you have your own stories to tell and would like to take a stab at writing an article. If you'd like to submit a guest post or post idea, ask a question, or just say hi-dy do, email me at The Hairy Edge post office and we'll chat and work out the details.
If you don't want to miss out on what's happening, subscribe to my e-list.
If you want to tell me I'm completely wrong about something or want to heap ten tons of praise on me or make me earn my keep by asking really tough questions, share your thoughts in the comments section.
If you liked this article, you might also like:
Dreams Without Action Are Like Farts in a Windstorm
Right Here, Right Now (The Obligatory New Year's Resolution Post)
Sometimes You Have to Say What the…
Image by: jorgempf
Ellen,
You've nailed so many awesome points here! There's so much out there written about pursuring your dreams, thinking big, etc. but rarely do we see advice to scale back – which is too bad because that's what we usually need to do! Scaling back just enough to ease the nausea and calm Lizzie down a bit creates the space for even just one action moving forward.
Cuz here's the thing…if we did that consistently over time, we'd have taken a whole lotta actions and the dream would be alive and kickin' lizard brain butt! I like to call it the sneak attack
I love the idea of the sneak attack! Gonna ambush ol' Lizzie and strap her to a chair with bright pink duct tape.
I wonder if people with a more micro view of the world have an easier time. I'm macro on steroids, and I once had someone tell me my root chakra had roots that spread all over creation as if they were stretching to cover every possible contingency…which sort of describes how I approach everything. There's a gift in it, but the corresponding dark side is a butt.
This post is wonderful, Ellen!
I think i wrote about it recently, but planning a full campaign out of your life is not really useful. what we need to take action is to simply know more or less where we are going and the next action. Anything beyond that may only remove the flexibility you have. Just like you say, it's like driving in the desert.
Welcome, Alejandro! (Hey, you and my husband have similar business/blog titles. He's Radio Enso and Ensocreative
)
I love your point about how trying to plan everything out actually removes flexibility from our lives. Without flexibility, we'd surely miss out on some spectacular views as well as some lessons that make our lives better in the long run. Good stuff!
Posting for Bernice who couldn't get the comments to behave!
Ellen,
You are right on with this post. It would appear that having an exact plan for life seems like it would be wonderful. Ah, but that's too simple. Time changes things, and life poses roadblocks, and the plan would go out the window. I remember a time many years ago when I wished I could find someone to tell me what I should do and map my life and future for me. But I finally realized that it was "MY" life and I would have to stick my neck out and go for whatever it was I wanted to try. The rest will fall in place and you just take things as they come. You deal with them without a "map", whether it's personal relationships, raising a family, career, retirement, or whatever. It's kind of like planning a trip, or driving in the desert, as you said. (And I have plenty experience at that.) Sometimes we have to alter our route a bit or make some changes along the way. But I believe it's all about flexibility. Take what life gives you and don't worry so much about "what if". Don't sweat the small stuff that seems to be getting in the way of your goal. Step over the stumbling block and go for it. It's what you've actually been doing. You're just putting too much emphasis on the "What's next, and What if?"
Bernice
Wise words, Bernice. I think I've felt the ability to be in control in my teaching career for so long that I've gotten used to it there. What I probably need to remember is that my risks in that realm have had the biggest payoffs despite the challenging parts. I need to get uncomfortable again, or, as Dylan Thomas put it, "Do not go gentle into that good night."
If I had a dollar for every best-laid plan I've had for my life, well let's just say I'd be sittin' on a tropical beach write now writing this to you. I've always taken a windy path that some would say delayed my getting to where I want to go…but I say it meant I got to see a lot more of what life has to offer and am grateful…and do not regret…and "wrong" turn I've ever taken.
Great post, Ellen. And I'M SO THRILLED you're joining us this summer!
**right now, not write now. Sigh. Someday I'll learn to proof my comments
We righters (kidding) rely on our editors too much methinks.
I know whatchu mean. I had multiple errors in the post itself that I didn’t catch until I was reading it aloud to my students. Can’t edit worth crap until it’s public and I’ve been suitably embarrassed!
I agree, the unexpected usually teaches and delights me more than what I’ve planned ever could. My best moments have come when I’ve thrown up my hands and declared, “Why not?” And yet…I still find myself sweaty-palmed, sticking over the details. This is a lesson I wish I could check off on my Got It list!
Glad to be joining y’all this summer too. Gonna get schooled AND have permission to have fun and eat sweet treats all in one!
Great Post Ellen! I too have been there, paralyzed, my lizard brain running the show. Great reminder to just keep taking the very next baby step when feeling overwhelmed!!!
Thanks, Randi! It’s like What About Bob but less annoying.